When I got my new iPhone I couldn’t figure out how to switch off the torch. I had to ask Google. My 7 year old would impatiently swipe right app’s that I hadn’t closed because I couldn’t do it. “Mummy It’s easy” she would say with just a hint of exasperation. Basically anytime I put my phone down to charge she’d swipe it so I had to password protect it. Then that didn’t work so i used face ID but as she looks like me she can still access it!

So its ironic that I have reluctantly assumed the role of Family IT Director. Photos, iCloud, Netflix, phones and Disney yep all down to me.

And most of the time I haven’t got a clue. For years it was just my things I needed passwords for and I could just about manage that. I have a hotmail account Ive had for 20 years, banking, Amazon and my phone. It was easy and I have a book in case I forget to write them down in. My husband who is (apparently) the IT guru is allergic to doing anything technical after work. He says you wouldn’t ask a baker to bake bread on his day off Debbie….. Or read the ff manual is another old favorite.

It all got more complicated when they got phones! We fought against it but eventually had to admit defeat as my phone was full of texts of emojis from school friends and I had thousands of pictures of my daughter with bunny ears on and a weird filter.

It would start with getting texts asking for more screen time “Mummy” “Mummy pleeaaassee!!!!” The texts would scream as I walked around the supermarket. “Mummy answer me!!” To a stranger it would appear to be a life or death situation instead of requiring more screen time to finish a tic toc. Because patience isn’t something kids have and Im not sure when its developed but everything is needed right now! I would have my highly complicated Secret service passwords ready normally 12345 or 54321 but then they got clever they guessed them so I had to think of other combinations. Birthdays were a good one currently on my Dad’s date of birth.

Then everything is a drama, a life or death situation they always desperately NEED an app. Which required my apple password which id changed as I forgot it while in a queue. So that would be another password. Id try it and I get told its WEAK so I have to add symbols or numbers on the end and think of something difficult which I know I will forget so I find a pen and write it down. Not knowing at the time that because Im pealing potatoes, helping another with homework and trying to keep the cat away from the chicken Ill forget where I wrote it down.

Parental codes, online shopping passcodes just passcodes for everything and you have to change them all the time to stop weirdos hacking your accounts and sending porn to all your school mum friends. Why can’t it just be easy?

So although my fail safe method for fixing things is still to turn it off at the mains I have improved. An excel spreadsheet still looks like Japanese and I still can’t properly worked out all the functions on my phone. I hope my tribe appreciate one day my role as Head of IT as its a role Id gladly give up.