For the past few years Ive had problems with getting to sleep.
Sleep is so so important. Enabling you to recharge, be a better version of you the next day. Its not something to be taken for granted. Waking up naturally when your body is ready, 100% is a luxury most of us dream of on a daily basis. Its the alarm angry and urgent screaming at you, children wanted you to sign a permission slip for a school trip before you’ve opened your eyes, or a baby angrily demanding food. Although i am genuinely my best in the mornings full of energy racing around 100 miles an hour by the evening my body is heavy with fatigue. As I clear the living room of random toys and empty milk glasses I look forward to my bed, resting and then sleep.
Since having the children I have always found it difficult to turn my thoughts off. My mind races with ideas, lists, the children. Chastising myself for things Id done or could have done better. Guilt keeps me awake, thinking about situations in the day I could have handled better. Generally involving the children..
My husband is also a snorer which doesn’t help. He broke his nose several times when he was younger and if he has a cold or he’s had a few drinks forget sleep. I try to get to bed before him as then Ill have a chance at sleep. But sometimes it doesn’t work like that and as I envy his ability to fall to asleep immediately I lay listening to his snores gradually gain momentum till they reach the climax of a adult walrus sound. Then Ill quietly slip out of bed, my feet into my awaiting slippers and gently pad along the landing to one of the children bed’s
A good friend recommended taking magnesium. At this stage I was ready to try anything. Getting through the day tired is so hard
When the children were small I very rarely got a full nights sleep. I was constantly tired, my body used to ache at the end of the day my feet throb from running up and down stairs to them.I breastfed all of them for almost a year so was very used to feeding in the twilight hours sitting snoozing in the chair listening to the sounds of the night.
As a mother you are so in tune with your cubs. You grow them, feed them they are part of you. We had baby monitors, several over the years but I was so alert even in sleep I could sense any change and be up and out of bed in an heartbeat.
Magnesium helps the body to relax. It reduces stress and helps you sleep deeper. Of course magnesium is naturally in so many foods but I take a supplement before bed with a glass of water. It might not work for everyone but for me a woman in her 40’s it works.
I was skeptical at first but I wasn’t keen on sleeping pills and Id tried everything else. For me its wonderful. I sleep, deep REM sleep. Of course I still wake to the alarm and although rested my body needs more sleep I feel ready for the day. When you are recharged you are less emotional, more tolerant and less likely to open the biscuit barrel by 10.
And I dream. Lovely deep random dreams. None of which make any sense. People from my past who’d id not thought about for years pop up in strange situations sometimes with others randoms from my past like a wedding party in my head or a reunion.
Sometimes I wake up surprised as they are so vivid. I can never remember all of them, just clips of them like they are being edited during the day for the final cut. Last night my lovely Nan came to me. Someone said You never guess who I just bumped into…… and there she was. In my dream I heard her voice again, her cackle of a laugh. I held her hand and remembered how warm they felt. Her eyes with bright and twinkled as she told a story, one that I couldn’t remember when I awoke.
But it was so real as the alarm went off this dark October morning at 6.15. I lay there for a moment, disappointed it was disturbed just thinking and remembering the kiss I gave her as I left my dream. Bye Nan. Love you xx