I know. A promise I made to myself last summer to write weekly hasn’t transpired. Lots of reasons why. I constantly tell my girls that they can do anything they put their minds to. That « can’t » isn’t a word they should use. That anything is possible yet when taking my own advice I fall at the first hurdle. Daily I think of topics to write. Ideas, thoughts that I’d like to share with you. Life isn’t straightforward things get in the way and knowing that somewhere in a corner of the world there is a person nodding as they understand you is a comfort. Yesterday for an example I felt utterly overwhelmed. This is a feeling I quite often have. A feeling of not being good enough. Too many tasks, too many jobs and chores and not doing any of them very well. Like the last bit of butter spreading yourself way too thin.
Although I should be used to this feeling it’s unsettling and makes me sad. The trigger I think was a job rejection . Yes now I am ready to resume my position in the rat race. Hang up my Ugg boots and blow the cobwebs off my suits. In truth, I’ve been ready for a long time, yearning for that feeling of achieving something. There have been a few rejections which I expected but this was a job I felt excited about. I knew I’d be good at. I visualized myself in the role being that person. But it was a sorry but no.
It’s fine I’m over it not going to dwell just need to dust myself off and get back on that horse. I’m strong, worth so much more it’s their lose yep that’s what I telling myself.
And so today is a new day. The sun is shining the birds are getting very fat in my cherry tree. There is lots to be thankful for. I’m determined now to share my thoughts with you as writing them down is a comfort. There is that person perhaps you, that is nodding as they have those times when they feel the same. Perhaps you have different triggers, perhaps that feeling lasts longer those clouds hang heavy. Whatever the reason knowing you are not alone is enough.
One response to “Oh it’s been a while”
Great read Debbie, yes I’ve been there with the doubt and wondering if I’m enough. Your not alone at all with this little nugget. I read a post of the gram from birdspapya her employer asked why she didn’t add blogger to her cv. It got me thinking 🤔. However it’s also a suggestion for you too!! Also remember you have 4 children, a big house, hubby and pets. Your family live in a different country, your doing amazingly. It’s not always easy for us to see this and acknowledge it either. You’ll get the job which is right for you lovely, I just know it x
LikeLiked by 1 person