The constant is our lives she has always been there. Steady as a rock noble and wise. We have been surrounded with her name and profile on our money on our pillar boxes on our passports. Born into privilege and power yes, but if we all truly knew the sacrifice that came with would we have swopped with her?

It was my daughters birthday yesterday. A busy day planned I hadn’t looked at social media so i didn’t hear the news till late. She wasn’t immortal, she was a frail 96 year old lady approaching the end. When she lost Philip just over a year before it was said she would follow soon after. For anyone loosing their companion after so long its hard, but to loose probably the only person who truly understood her duty. Understood the challenges she’d faced over the years. That must have been very hard.

Her life although privileged was mapped out. Being Queen was not meant to be her destiny. Then when her beloved Father died when she was just 25years old she took on the biggest job ever. Only Philip her rock,was left to really understand what that had meant to her. In a man’s world where women were very far from being equal. Where in many countries women were not considered. How she must have worked to prove the doubters wrong. Prove she would serve her country and serve it well.

The counties she travelled to. As a young woman, a mother of four children. Least we not forget the days of traveling she undertook so people would know her. Would cherish the moment they caught a glimpse in the crowd of her face or handed her a posy of flowers.

When I read the news my eyes filled with tears. I never thought my reaction would be that. I just felt very sad. Sad for the end of an era. Sad that Ill never watch another Queens speech 3pm on Christmas day. Sad that although she was ready to leave we were not ready to loose her.

But despite my sadness watching the news, watching people from every walk of life laying flowers, wiping away tears, talking to the journalists with genuine emotion it made me feel proud. Proud to be British and to have called this amazing woman my Queen. As although far from a royalist I admire what this woman represented, what she achieved. The wisdom she had and the dignified way she served her country. She never felt the need to do exclusive interviews detailing how hard her life was. She just quietly got on with things. Did her job.

The news and media is dominated by her. Flowers laid at the gates of her homes, London cab drivers in tears parked in the Mall. Paddington bear posts saying goodbye. People go about their business with a heavy heart. The world is waiting with baited breath to see for what happens next….

Ah so the stories she would have been able to tell! What a dinner guest she would have been!

Im sad, and a tiny bit scared for the future without this wise old owl at the helm of our ship. I hope her son who I think was possibly privately dreading this day will make his much loved Mama proud.

Grief although it hurts is the price we pay for love. RIP Queen Elizabeth.