Saying goodbye

Part of the process of being a expat is always having to say goodbye to your family. It never really gets any easier as you always wonder when will be the next time. Covid brought the uncertainty into our lives that you can still make plans but never be 100% certain they will come to fruition. Then airport chaos the butterfly’s in your tummy never settle till you are on that plane. Looking at the memories on your phone unable to make new ones it took our freedom away. Being away for thirteen years now means I should be used to it but I’m not. I still always well up at the airport and drive away with tears coursing their way down my cheeks. It still hurts as much as it did 13 years ago.

My parents and nieces just left after just over a week. It’s been a tough week. Being a people pleaser I’m exhausted. Shopping for 11, cooking, accommodating dietary requirements, walking the dog ,taking them swimming daily I’ve definitely earned my money. And the heat! Gosh it’s hot, it zaps your power makes your limbs sluggish I now know why the Spaniards like siestas.

But I’ve secretly loved having in particular my Mum and Dad around. Helping me with odd jobs, keeping things ticking over cleaning wise so my house doesn’t turn into a squat. Loved it and loved also being mothered. I’m not sure how it would have been if I’d lived just down the road all these years. Easier definitely rather than doing it on my own but we wouldn’t have had these special times.

My youngest niece is 5 so I’ve missed so much time with her. Having two much older siblings she’s teased a lot and so she has to hold her own. She is so loud at home she spends a fair bit of time screaming. She also adores her mum and so when I’m there I don’t really bond with her.

This week has been lovely no screaming no tantrums just so happy to be here. My heart is full of love for this little firecracker we have had so many cuddles and snuggles she’s been a joy and she really didn’t want to say goodbye.

And so they’ve gone. The house is very much quieter, slightly grubby. I sacrificed my bed this week so will be very glad to be back in my own bed. And, as I scroll through the new memories on my phone probably with a tear in my eye I am thankful for our time and look forward to the next x

Thank you for reading I appreciate any feedback xx

So, I’ve just paid for another year on WordPress. Still, I haven’t shared this with my friends. I don’t know what I’m worried about but I am. I would feel exposed, if I got a negative reaction. I suppose it’s like thinking you can sing then standing on a stage and getting booed. It’s my secret, our secret and maybe one day I’ll promote but not just yet………

Cousin love x

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