Living in a country where you have to learn a new language in the beginning there were many times I felt out of place.

Many times when I stood there with so many emotions making noises in my head.

Stupidity, Why am I not better at languages?

Flight mode, just not wanting to be there, wanting to just disappear not be there.

Fear, what if it’s always going to be like this.

Self consciousness, what must they think of me?

Normally I’d be stood there with a manic smile whilst trying to nod at the appropriate pauses it was hard.

Pretending that I got it.

In recent years I felt out of place in the work environment.

Mainly because I didn’t go to the right school, right university, I’m not knowledgeable on the right music or literature or move in the right circles.

Initially it made me feel small but then I realised that actually it doesn’t matter.

That the flavours I can bring to the table are not the same old boring salt and pepper but different spices that enhance the flavour.

Instead of feeling small I felt big, strong.

I try and ignore those negative voices in my head.

I try and be brave, straighten my back hold my head up high.

Because there are always going to be times like that I just have to remember that in the long run it really doesn’t matter.

Thank you x