Wineoclockmama in luxembourg

My twenties were mad. I managed somehow to secure a good job, I was being paid well, working hard, playing harder. Working in London it was demanding that’s for sure as I felt I was always chasing my tail but I loved the adrenaline.

After travelling then meeting my partner I was ready to start a family.

When I discovered I was pregnant I was ecstatic. My sister had a baby and I was very close to my Nan and so excited to what this baby meant to our family.

I was so driven and career minded and I think all were surprised by the change in me. I don’t think my Nan thought I’d ever settle down!

My sister and I were close and after years of living apart we were going to be mums together.

By coincidence two of my best friends were also pregnant so it was like a ready made mums club.

When Daisy was born I suddenly had my own family. I remember days after I returned home from hospital just staring at her sleeping still in complete disbelief that I had a baby.

I was happy to be a mum loved my baby. Loved my friends just loved our gaggle of babies as we met for coffees and chats.

It was a new chapter and I loved it comparing notes and my baby growing up with my friend’s babies!

My partner was offered an opportunity to set up an office in Luxembourg. He was not particularly career minded I was the career person so I remember being surprised.

It was a big step up in-terms of money but also status.

We had wanted to move from my little terrace house so this would help enormously.

I was nervous, I didn’t want to leave everyone.

For years I had wanted to live somewhere else but becoming a parent had changed that. I wanted to do the mundane things with my friends and family,

We talked it was only a year then we could come back. Then we’d be in a better position to buy a bigger house.

I didn’t want to leave. But it made sense and it was only a year.

We set the wheels in motion to move.

Leaving was so difficult. I had to leave my beloved cats as the rented house didn’t accept cats.

My lovely Nan whose life had become so small and isolated I had to leave her.

My parents who doted on Daisy and saw her weekly.

And my darling niece Leyla. There was only 9mths between them.

It just broke my heart into a million pieces. That sounds like an exaggeration but that’s how I felt.

On arriving my partner was consumed with work and so busy so it was just Daisy and I.

I had no friends, I didn’t speak the language, for the first few months I didn’t have a car which was a problem as where we lived was 30 mins outside of town.

If you have ever experienced homesickness you will know what I mean.

It consumed me, I was so lonely and unhappy. I miss my friends, popping to my parents, having tea with my Nan.

When I travelled Australia it was my choice, I never felt homesick in face I didn’t want to come home! This was different I felt isolated.

When my family visited at Christmas then had to leave I remember sitting on the stairs and sobbing. Daisy now a toddler was cuddling me but I couldn’t snap out of it.

It was a horrible feeling.

Obviously we are still here nearly 15 years later.

I do feel I sacrificed so much but I know however hard it was it was the right decision.

It was without doubt one of the most difficult decisions.

Thank you so much for reading.

It brightens up my day to see this read by people all over the world,

If you can like and comment it would be appreciated.

Thank you 🙏